Round 11 - Where do I go from here.

[survivorjoshua]

I made it... but still a lot of game left to play at this point and I'm worried that its not going in my favor. 
Love Kari calling me out saying "Why vote me out over someone who's clearly not playing a good game" haha poor girl couldnt give a good argument... Mine wasn't great either so lemme shut up before ya'll yell at me for being a hypocrite haha.

I am not surprised by the outcome of tribal and again i am probably one of the only people in the game other than Alex and Antoinette that actually know what happened there which is hilarious but i have to keep my mouth shut or something bad is gonna happen. the best part is people who know what happened telling me their side of what happened and me knowing its wrong but i can't just be like "oh that's funny cause i thought this is what happened" haha

I am upset at myself for the shit show jury management that i am putting up but i think i can reverse that a bit with ryan maybe, i dont know at this point tbh. 

I'm really stressed this game is almost looking un-winnable to me... that's really pissing me off but thats the consequences i have with the path i decided to take... my biggest regret is making sure taylor didnt go home, that's what's really fucked me up a lot cause i think i have it much easier then if thats the case. 

I am going to be perceived as second fiddle to alex no matter what so i have to make sure he sits in the jury and i dont... im really having this debate on when and how it gets done. I am hating how this is going thought i see the win slowly but surely getting away from me because of stupid mistakes like not being social with Kari/Ben and Ryan as well. I'm just ashamed it's gotten this far and now i am surrounded with people who are all pretty much contenders over me and i have to find the 2 people who have the greatest chance against in a f3 scenario and making sure those 2 people are not voted out... I am really really worried, i do NOT want to go to the end with Kilby, Gaston or Alex. They are all going to win this game if they get to the end.

I'm just upset because I feel i haven't lived up to my potential. I wanted to be so much better but i let theatrics and stupidity get in my way. I'm just som stressed with college just starting literally tomorrow and this game coming to an end within the next week or so... I need a miracle

[survivorjoshua]

Lmao I don’t think Prod or VL are gonna like me much after seeing the outpouring of love for Kari 😅
Oh well lol

[survivorjoshua]

(Like i said in the most recent thread i will have a video later tonight)

[survivorjoshua]

survivor is a funny game, i had been gone most of the day due to some college stuff, i wasn't even able to compete in the immunity challenge. I dont wanna get voted out or thrown under the bus because im inactive but i have a bad feeling that as soon as i am free that i will find out that all hell has broken loose...

(time jump to when i got some time actually)

Welp its sort of calm but im nervous, i need to make calls and make sure everyone is on board and ready to do what is needed. 

As far as calls are going right now the set up is looking to be a vote between gaston and kilby although theres a chance that alex could get a few votes. Kilby told me that ryan told him gaston was pitching kilby's name. This gives me a good reason not to vote alex and make him worried, having gaston and kilby after each other makes this game much easier for me to maneuver. I am ready to start putting this game in my hands but i have to let this one go, im not exactly sure who is voting where but the vote is 99% going on gaston... im worried but i am more trusting in Alex at this moment than i am worried. 

Here goes tribal...